I'm actually going to write this time, i know i've lost most of online buddies but well what can i Say?

    Where to begin, these past months have been, some-what i would label, as the toughest days that i have ever gone through..It hasn't been easy going from-day to day whatsoever.. In particular this past week-from last friday until this friday things have been crashing my way 'unbelievably'.. however; up until now i haven't really-set-foot in why all this has been going on.. For me personally, I've been struggling alot, with being complete content & satisfied with where God has put me, in circumstances now, and consequences of the past-playing out.. For the past while, i've beaten myself up, regretted, and couldn't wait until the day the Lord comes back for me.. the later not being such a bad- concept, but the concept my mind had on it wasn't the best outlook at all.. ( i felt simply, if Christ would just come back, it would be the best way out & away from all this drama/dilemna of friends, school, spiritually down, and everything.).. Am i really that foolis?? Well i was.. this past week so much has been unfolded, (not in my life particularly but in others around me that has enligthened my narrow-vision of just leaving.. The Lord has been showing me so much this week, that He is in control and i must surrender it all to him.. doubts, worries, fears, friends.. Last friday night, i was at work for 6hrs had a few more to go, but started feeling really-really strange.. instant chills, to massive-heat fever, and weak.. So i went to my boss and told him, he let me go.. an hour later, my best buddy gets into a car-accident.. I got the call from him, and ( i know this might be terrible but i flew-to that accident seen really-really-fast) didn't know what had happened if he was ok, or what.. So yes i sped.. (guilty-indeed) but at the time, only thing i could think about was if he was ok.. I got to the seen, right after the cops had arrived, found out that he was ok, but the car wasn't so great at all (slamming into the guard-rail on a really sharp corner).. this was around 11:45 pm. I stayed with him on the seen filing out paper work for a long time, then  he being shak'n up alot-took him out for coffee, to talk and calm down.. Now ok, wow is that God or what??  I know i didn't do much, but i really feel as though the Lord allowed me to feel-sick and leave work to be with him.. (Alot more to the story, but i just can't believe it, i felt completely fine from feeling sick earlier-was it the Lord or coincidence?).. The accident, wasn't that bad, but if he had slid another 15ft, he would have dropped near-strait down for 20ft into the woods, was God not in control of that?? That being as scary-at the time to me, has shown me soo much in how i take friends/and people alone for granted.. Life is so-short, that could be me at any-time, seeing that-with my buddy really got my attention.. Wed. night, i went out with a friend  to coffe who has been struggling with alot of things, i really don't know her that well, (a few weeks, a new believer in Christ) but thought i might be able to encourage her so i went..  Was a total blessing, the Lord used it i believe not only to encourage her but challenged me so much, from everything going on in my life,-has no comparission to what was going on with hers.. Leaving the coffe-shop, it being 10:00pm -25 at least outside, i saw an accident that looked as though it just happened, so pulled over to see if i could help.. An older- well really-old lady had swirved of the road, up over the curb & side-walk, over a snow-bank, and then she tried swirving back-getting stuck nose-up in the snow-bank.. I ran to the vehicle, the lady, shaking-and trembling opened her door and says ' i don't know what i did'... O boy.. This lady had to get out, she looked ok, so i asked her, yes she-was.. I told her i was gonna move her to my car to stay-warm, and wait for the Police to get there.. (which another by-standing had called, but left i guess).. there's 6 inches of snow, the Lady couldn't get out of her car, so i had to help her, and walking to my car-down the snow-bank, i thought i was going to fall-over attempting to hold this shaky-old lady up, and stableize-her and myself to take the next-step.. but we made it- (turned my car on the radio was loud-lol) she jumped, and i thought i was about to have a heart-attack on my hands.. O yes.. crazy.. turned it off, started the heat, the cops showed up.. took-report.. i called two buddies fom school to come down and give-me a hand to try to get the vehicle out of the snow-bank.. ya it was freezing out, trying to get her out for 25 minutes or so was insane.. the cop got a tow-truck to come for us, but i knew the lady wasn't stable to drive, so i told my buddy to drive her in my car, while i followed in her's (which obvisouly was drivable) back to her place.. the cop took reports, and i don't know-why but just allowed two college guys to drive her vehicle away and take her with us..? Is that normal.. I don't think so.. Was the Lord working in that Situation.. =) i would like to think for sure he was!! The lady (dorothy, had just left the hospital, because her husband had to go in that day for some-surgery, and she couldn't get her son to drive them, so she not driving in a year had to take him, and was on her way home.) using no-headlights.. We talked to her a bit, found out she has had 3 heart-attacks, and 2 open heart surgerys... (geeze and i about gave her another one?) wows.. anyways, ya that was awesome to be able to help her, i think it was totally the Lord that night.. Now tonight, (friday night-week from last fridays' accident with my buddy).. The girl that i was out with for coffee, texted me at work-asking whats up.. I said i was at work, and asked how she was doing.. She said 'not so good'... So i texted back and asked what was up.. her response.. 'I'm 9 weeks pregnant'.. Wow..what do you say to that? I don't know this girl that well (another one-of my buddies, knows this g ( hich is how i met her), who i believe she is saved but what response do i give ?.. I asked her when she found out.. she said 4 hrs ago.. Ok.. so i asked her the father was, (she is 17) she says her x-boyfriend.. Does He know was my next question..?" No-she says, but when i get off work i'm going to tell him he's a dad.." knowing-a little bit about her past, knowing it's not the best, i worried alot as to how that would go, so told her i would like to meet with her and talk about it.. (her parents do know yet either).. So i'm thinking, ok how can i help this gurl right? How can i show her, that now through the mistakes she's made to keep this baby, because i naturally assumed from her raising she would want to abort, and assuming the 'dad' wouldn't want anything to do with her worried me as to how she would react as well..' I asked her if i got off work right then if i could meet with her and talk.. this was all over-text messages... She said-no because she wanted to go tell the daddy right away.. I didn't think it best-right away for her to do so, but told her i would be praying for her, & that i would be here if she needed to talk.. an hour later, she calls me.. says she took a gurl-friend over and told the dad, and he wants nothing at all to do with her, or the baby, saying 'how do u even know it's mine'.. she says to him -your the only one it could be.. He shut the door on her..So when she called, she had just left him, i can tell she was crying, scared and didn't know what to do, so i attempted to calm her down, and talk.. After a bit, she sounded better, and was on her way-home, i asked if she was going to tell her parents right away, she said 'no'..obvious answer for a scared young gurl.. So i again assured her things were going to be ok, that it's in Gods hands, & that i would be praying for her.. she says thanks, -then i asked her if she would like, if she would go out tomorrow and talk.. very-quickly says 'yes' and that she would call in the afternoon when she could..

Ok... can you see how this week has been absolutely-heart-renching, but needed for me?? Alright maybe you can't see it needed-for me, but i can, the Lord has through the circumstances of others brought me soo much closer to Him.. I'm honestly scared, and don't know what to do, or how to approach this situation tomorrow meeting this gurl, but at the same-time at peace with knowing i really think it's what the Lord would have me to do.. How do i encourage some-one new to their faith, who'se made mistakes in the past to seek the Lords refuge from all of it? To keep her baby, to talk to her parents, learn from her mistakes and press on..?? And i think my little circumstances, of 'disasters' in my life are miserable and want the Lord to come back just to get out of it?? How foolish can i be.. God has me right here, for a reason.. He wants me here, right here... The struggles at hand in my life, are they really that big when i don't have to even fight'-them?? Christ has won it-the battle is fought, and over,  yet i allow my sinful/old nature-to try and stir the battle up within?? For as long as a person lives in the flesh there is never no contentment in a Battle-won by the Lord.. And i have his spirit dwelling insde me, protecting me if only i take hold of his shield, his helmet, & sword.. It's all there-He's given the weapons, i have them right at hand, we all do!! Through everything going on, all i can grasp-hold of tonight is the thrilling reality, that it's not me who is in control of anything, but Christ.. He watched out for my buddy, he watched out for the old lady, he will watch out and protect this gurl-and her baby, and He Will watch out for me... And he has!! I just can't begin to tell the peace at which God has brought me to tonight.. I've made mistakes in life, thankfully for me, they hven't been consequently-everlasting here on earth-or in heaven.. I'm forgiven, & free of my sin-nature.. It's only by choice to fall into-depression/or battles in attempts to take control of the war.. Christ has fought every-fight already & i've known this all along, being in bible-school i've been taught it over-and over, but the blantent reality guys is lying right here.. I found this earlier tonight as i was studying in devo's on the contentment i have in Christ.. It's amazing, and will stick with me forever..

"I believe that the Lord is asking me today, ‘Will you choose My abundant life today, or will you continue to wait until something changes, something is different, something is finished, something is better?’ That life He has for me is only available from Him, with Him, in Him. His command and His invitation can be summed in the one word – ‘COME’. I can know Him as my Savior and rarely know Him as my Life... but he is my life!

    I don't know what God is going to be teaching me tomorrow, or the next-or next day.. but i know that i want to live my life for him right here, right now & not just skim the corners at living for him.. but make the most of every-opportunity.. Guys' don't ever come to the point where you want to leave-it all, yes the presence of God the Father, is going to be the most amazing thing ever, and i await it i really do, but we (I) have so much we can be doing right here and now!! I know i'm going to screw-up and make mistakes i the days/yrs ahead, we all will... Just remember, that even when things seem to be at there worst, he is right there.. Pray for me as i go tomorrow, to be able to show this gurl the love Christ has for her, and be able to in some-way help her see that even though yes we must live with the consequences in life, it's up to us to learn from it and press-onwards.. The Lord has been by my side, from the day i gave my life to him, and He will forever be here...=) reguardless of everything that has happened this past week and months.. He's never left me.. Life is so short, don't give in and take the easy-way out, you can never out-give or ever do more than what Christ has done for you.. However we have the ability, strength, & knowledge through him to do more than we could ever imagine!! 

   "I know what it is to be in need, and i know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the sercret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength"   - Philipians 4:12-13

So i haven't updated in forever,ever and even though this isn't a 'real-life' update, it's the basis to alot of my key understandings as to how i live my life before my Lord & Savior.. I wrote this paper last semester towards the end, and since i've been back in school for a week, i have been reading this paper nearly every-night making changes, and adding lots more, which i'm continually going to be doing because there's so many more key-elements in how i know i am supposed to live before the Lord that i am learning every-day! It's rather long-well really long, so unless you have time lol- don't start, cause wants you do you can't stop =) just joking**.. For those of you who know, me & don't know me that well maybe it will clear up alot of why i do, and don't do some things, but most of all my outlook thus-far on the lifestyle in which Christ has me live according too.. So please if it's confusing, strange or you have comments leave em and i'll answer questions too =) I love you guys, Sorry i have been to busy to update.. Real quick -recap.. I stayed at school almost all break (working), i was fortunately able to go home and see my amazing family back home for 4-5 days, while on my trip home - lol roads were really icy, slid backwards down the-highway, then off the road 20ft or so on the side of a hill... I was alright, but definetly a lil-scared at first, but dad, my bro-inlaw and another guy came and pulled me out and i headed back on my way.. just to hit another patch of ice on an over-pass, did a 360 and came close to smashing into the concrete-walls of the bridge... However...The Lord was in control,he kept me safe,and i made it back to school.. It was so refreshing to be back there, it challenged me alot, along with a special friend-talking to her-motiviating me so much coming back into- my Senior semester... God has been doing amazing things in my life, and is revealing so much to me through his word, classes, & daily devotions (which i have finially been able to make-myself do since being back, everyday- and how rewarding it's been already)!! While at home, i got a call from work, which i was given a ful-time position, (even though already working full-time) this time with benefits, raises and all.. So God has been keeping me-safe, and providing for me daily... School is busy as always,  with 40hrs a week it gets hectic, as well as finding time to being with friends.. That has defintely been if anything the one i still wish i could do more in right now, some friendships seem to be fading and it gets hard to deal with that.. I know things are in the Lords hands, just wish i could do something to hold onto-all of them, and keep them so close to my heart & life to keep encouraging eachother in ways pleasing to the Lord..So please keep me in your prayers..  It may be a while before i update, but call whenever, if i can i'll pick up... I hope you enjoy reading what the Lord has been teaching me, and challenged to live for Him more !!! He's the Only reason we live~

The Basis of this paper starts with my understanding of the Bible.The bible, how do i know it's true? I must look deeper than just what these words say. There are many verses that revail to us that it's true, and this only comes about by Faith (which i will talk about later)! I must believe, as i do that the  bible is inerrant, without fault, and inspired by the maker of all creation, God. (2 Peter 2:19-21; 2 Timothy 3:16).

In knowing this of the bible, definitely makes my perspective of the bible so real and worthy of trust. The creator of the universe; God in his all power-fullness can do as no-other can, he offered me the gift of salvation, by the crucifixion death of His son . My God, the maker of man, the creator of the world and everything within it, made for His glory, is beyond the ability of any man. Because I know he created this world with no-sin, no fault in any-way, and not because of Him but because of Man, sin was let into the world, He is set Apart and Holy, in Him have I put my faith and complete trust in.

I tell you this because, this is all key for me in order to live a life of walking in obedience to my Father. In order to follow what my father longs of me, I cannot waiver how I view the bible, I will either believe it or deny it. And I believe it with my whole heart, and before God want to live my life according to it, which includes a humble, dependent heart souly on that of Jesus Christ. There are 3 Crucial Issues of the Christian Life, acute awareness of need, realization of Christ’s sufficiency, and laying hold of God’s provision. (appropriation). How do I appropriate my life and live for him? I realize that I may never fully understand everything as how to live the Christian life but what is key for all is to be consistently growing (2 Peter 3:18).

Once having seen the need for a Savior, one must put there faith in Christ’s death, burial, and resurrection (provision of salvation). What does this mean to put my Faith in Christ and be saved ? It means to be “justified” or in other words “declared righteous before God” seeing my need for him, that being once in a lost and hopeless state of mind. Seeing this and putting my faith in Him credits Christ with my Sin, and in the same way we are given the credit of Christ's Righteousness.. Giving us the positive and He taking the negative. Faith is the key to being justified by Christ and the only way to take possesion of the everlasting-eternal gift Christ has freely offered to us. Through justification, I don’t  pay God back for anything, not in any way, shape, or form. He declraes me righteouss, no longer see's me as a sinner, but see's Christ's mark upon me, and his Holy Spirit living within me.!

What is it to walk in obedience to the father is it the same as appropriation? Appropriation takes role, meaning “to set aside for our practical possession something that already belongs to us”( Miles J. Standford) Furthermore we must see what we already have in Christ as a child of His, and to be consistently aware of the need for it. Once we come to realization of what we have in Christ, practical need will cause us to appropriate, and to accept the answer to the need of Christ Jesus. Appropriating further more is us, patiently waiting on the Lord, to work in our own lives (Isa. 64:4b). We as believers are made partakers of Christ and to live the Christian life what we do and say must flow from within. My life is not my own but ‘hidden with Christ in God; so Jesus may be indwelled forever in our mortal bodies’. ( Col 1:19, Heb 3:14, Eph 3:19, Col 3:3)

So appropriating our lives before God will cause an outflow of our obedience to the Father. Is not ‘walking in obedience‘, that of obeying the laws he has given to us in his words or is it much more? Much, much more indeed !! One can follow the ‘laws’, and yet not be walking in obedience. To walk in obedience is first and foremost being humble of your inability to do anything in yourself, but relying on the Lords guidance. So next is to submit yourself to God. Obeying His commands yes, but there are many things in life where a ‘command’ doesn’t cover in which we have a direct order. So we must depend on Christ before each and every task before the Lord as He is the number one ruling ‘object’ in ones life. In many aspects.. Example: How do I know I’m supposed to be here at New Tribes? I don’t fully know, but I’m trusting the Lord in this, and because I am here for the soul purpose to know more about Him, in order that I may further the reach of His Kingdom, I’m going to do this. As the heart-beat of His mission for me, to reach the unreached, I must have an understanding of who God is. So ok what better place than bible school. I really don’t know exactly if this is what God wants of me, but I do know if I am doing His will, in “anything” He is glorified. And that is what He wants of me. God is not going to shout out from heaven and tell me to go to New Tribes. But He has given me clear instructions as to how He wants me ‘overall to live my life’. So in knowing He wants me to be a servant of His, I came to Bible school, trusting that this is what God wants of me. He may allow an opportunity to come up to where I can serve Him in another place, and if He does I will follow. But now, this is where He has me and right now, all I must do is have a willing heart to listen and obey. He will Guide me, now and forever it’s only up to me to abide in Him. (John 15:4,5 and 8).We have to work at abiding but we are only able to abide because of God’s grace.

What is abiding? to remain steadfast or faithful to; keep: If you make a promise, abide by it. Abiding requires effort because much more than we realize, we live according to what the Bible calls works but the act in it’s sense is because we have to work at trusting God’s grace to draw our hearts to receive Grace. Meaning in life is from the quality of our abiding. The Father is glorified by the work that He does through us. For me to be abiding, must be confident assurance that is it is not me doing anything but believing that the Father is actually the one who is doing the work. When I get discouraged about abiding I am strengthened and I find courage by reminding myself of these next two statements, success in the Christian life depends on us abiding in Christ. Also If we are not abiding in the presence of Christ the eternal value of that moment is lost. Without abiding there can be no fruit that lasts for eternity.

Now can I in my own effort and strength be dependent on the Lord in everything I do? Can I comprehend and understand how, I think I may understand some things but not all. Why am I not scared of this though? Simply because the Bible teaches that the Holy Spirit actually lives within every true believer in Christ. ( John 14:16-17.) The Bible says that the Holy Spirit, as He lives inside you, is my counselor, to help me understand the truth revealed in God's Word (John 14:26). So it’s not in my strength but in that of the Holy Spirits who is living within me because I am not identified as a ‘sinner‘ but seen as Righteous before God .

So in understanding of this, I want to share a study I have put into a few weeks back that pertains to every Christian walking in obedience to the Father, (my key focus being to be able to bring glory to God, and knowing how exactly I am to go about doing this). The application I find necessary to understanding my place in Christ in my study is in 2 Corinthians 9:6-13. I chose this passage in Corinthians because I see this as one of the biggest, (lost) opportunities that we as believers in Christ, don’t take into the right perspective. In this passage we find proper directions to be observed about the right and acceptable manner of bestowing charity; and it is of great concernment that we not only do what is required, but do it as is commanded.

Starting of this passage I don’t want to start with verse six but rather verse eight. Why? Because taking this verse to heart and applying it to ones’ self, makes the rest, a natural outflow from the heart. It goes to say that “God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work”. What how can grace abound to me? Does this mean that we will abound in ‘everything’ that we will ever need? Yes. Only if we are ‘willingly, walking in obedience’. God will take care of us, giving us an abundance of everything we will need. Ok now with this verse in mind, and applied to life, allows the rest of the verses to be easily understood.

It should be deliberately Every man who gives generously, according to what he poses. This does not mean give more than you can to survive on necessarily, but trusting in the Lord with what He gives you, giving back to him through showing his loving/kindness towards ‘me’ to others.. If one gives sparingly the Lord in return, he will give generously. It’s the same aspect ‘in ways’ most of the time, when you go out of your way to help a friend out, they are typically going to in return help you out when they can. However with God I believe he will not always show you your ’return’ gift for giving to him, but rather seeks a heart willing to give up everything in order to please Him. He is not all the time, going to make you prosper in a rich/wealthy/Healthy way, rather is storing up your treasures in Heaven. At times He may bless us abundantly here on earth, but the main reason our hearts our supposed to not be awaiting for something in return, but to glorify our Father. Verse seven talks about works of charity, like other good works, should be done with thought and ‘design‘. It should be done freely, whatever we give, be it more or less, should be done not reluctantly, not grudgingly, nor of necessity, but cheerfully, for God loves a cheerful giver. People sometimes will give merely to satisfy the importunity of those who ask their charity, and what they give is in a manner squeezed or forced from them, and if this is done with a unwillingness heart it spoils all they do. We should give with an open countenance, being glad we have ability and an opportunity to be charitable, for this pleases the Lord. We must consider that what is given to the poor/charity/God in a right manner is far from being lost if done in the right attitude; as the precious seed which is cast into the ground is not lost, though it is buried there for a time, for it will spring up, and bear fruit; the sower shall receive it again with increase. Can a man be a loser by doing that with which God is pleased? By no means! For we are created to bring Glory to Him; and a generous heart God makes our charity rebound to our advantage. I have no reason to doubt the goodness of God, and surely I have no reason to question his power; he is able to make all grace abound towards us, and abound in us; to give a large increase of spiritual and temporal good things. He can allow us to have a sufficiency in all things, to be content with what we have, to make up that which we give away. As it is written “ He has scattered abroad His gifts to the poor, his righteousness endures forever!” He will supply all needs, of those who seek him, and give to this who give. Verses ten and eleven tells us that God supplies the seed to the sower and the bread for food, which will increase. God is going to take care of us in every single way. Why? So that we, in every occasion in life may not have a single excuse to not be generous. For He has enriched us in just a little? No! In every way! That to me is exciting! God has bestowed upon me the ‘power’ to overcome, my self-willed heart in wanting to please myself, and all that I have to do is act in the very thing we already have in Christ. Also It is God who giveth us not only a competency for ourselves, but that also wherewith we may supply the wants of others, and so should be as seed to be sown. . There are several things which he desires for them (apostles), namely, that they may have bread for their food, always a competency for themselves, food convenient, (being wise in how they conduct their living but giving all they can so that God will multiply their seed sown, that they may still be able to do more good, and that there may be an increase of the fruits of righteousness. By doing this they may reap plentifully, and have the best and most ample returns of their charity, so as to be enriched in every thing to all bountifulness (v. 11). So instead pleasing themselves, by giving to others they may find it true that they shall be not losers, but great gainers. Works of charity to me stands out as something that brings the ‘proper means’ which truly enrich us! Our goodness can not ‘extend’ unto God, but we should freely extend it to believers here around u, showing that we delight in them. (vs. 12) This in-itself brings all praise and glory to the one true God. Many thanksgivings would be given to God on this account, by the apostle, and by those who were employed in this ministration. In a likewise manor this is so easily applied to us as well. We have, as I already mentioned been enriched in every-way, to bring Glory to God in sowing seed amongst the harvest of our nation. Another aspect we must look at we find in verse thirteen. In doing these acts of service to God, is it not something that should be a natural outflow of our Salvation in Him? Walking in obedience with the Father most definitely will bring forth fruits that will be seen by others right? Yes! It’s a simple testimony we have as being children of God to give generously. All men who profess God as their Savior should in a love for God, be subject to bring glory to God which is proof of subjection to the gospel of Christ, and true love to all men, v. 13. Christianity in itself by doing “works of charity/giving” sometimes is seen as condition to our salvation and it is not! However yielding to walking in Obedience to God, this will be a natural outflow. Can we not trust the Lord to provide us with everything we will ever need? He clearly states He will take care of His children if only we desire to be life Him. If I can’t believe this passage, and take it into my life as a Believer, than I am cheating myself out on receiving all that God has in store for me. Trusting myself in matters, always tends to fail, for I am only Human. I believe He is watching over me, and will take care of me, forever and always, as is the rest of the bible I can put my complete trust in His inspired Word!

In understanding my identity being that in Christ, being credited as righteous before God, being dead to sin, gives me the freedom to not live not in fear but resting in what the Lord has for me day by day. Being Identified in Christ sets me free from the judgment which is to come, and secures my eternity with my savior forever. Christ died for me, but I also died on the Cross with Him (Ro 6:6). My Approval rest souly on the fact of who I am in Christ! (2 Cor 5:21) There is nothing I can ever do to rid of this, forever identified in Christ, wethere I want to be or not (which by all means I am proud to be).

Why do I not always find myself happy, in living the Christian life, it rest on the fact I look at my condition rather than my position. My position is eternally saved, righteous before God, and the condition is the attributes that reflect from living life, both that of good, and evil). To understand my position in Christ is very key to really, understanding how to abide, walk, and learn to be dependent on Christ alone. My position holds that I am identified as Christ and accepted in the Beloved ( Phil. 1:11, 2:13, 3:9, 4:13). “It’s not my Do but His Done”

2 Cor 5:15 “and He died for all that those who live,

who died for them and raised again”

    Well i realize it's been a long time since i have written, and taking Christmas night to update this thing just seems strange but whatever right? =)  I really have no idea what to talk about i just felt like doing something, & considering that none of you are picking up your phones =( i'm lonely.. lol ya, sorry for all of you who did try calling me today- i kinda slept all christmas from 8:00 this morning until 10 tonight.. *some-how which i'm not happy about my phone was on silent mode.!! Grrr...

    So lots has been going on over the last 2-3 months since i really updated anything.. I started a job working at the Target Warehouse about 20 minutes away, 40hrs a week during school and through my break-until whenever, which is why i'm stuck having Christmas alone.. but lol- it's ok, really wanted to go home but i must pay my bills.. Besides starting the new job, which isn't new any-more, school has been really good; however i can't deny the last few weeks before break i was so ready to be done for a while, and was side-tracked from paying full-attention all the time. A bunch of other stuff has been going on, which a few of you know, but the Lord is  continuely showing me his faithfulness in keeping me comforted, and content, which through it all, i'm learning more & more  how to be establishing a stronger dependence on Him =). lol and that might be a bit confusing for some of you, but whateva =) my page i may do as i wish right?

   I only have 15 weeks of school left how unbelieveable is that? Ridiculious isn't it?!! I can't believe it! Lots of people have been asking what i'm doing after school, which is a reasonable question so for those of you who are wondering as well. I will  be getting an apartment here in Waukesha (or really close by) and be working full-time, as well as my prayers are to get involved with a youth ministry at a church here. Which i yet have to find a church that i fit in with. I have tired 2 different churches a couple times here, and the one is pretty nice, but i think before i settle i will try a few different ones that the Dean of men here has told me about. So thats my overal-plan. With staying and living here working and all, i am also really looking into taking a a few missions trips a year at least 2 a year for about 2 weeks at a time, to be able to go into a tribe, or any-where and help out with whatever may need to be done (preferably construction wise). Next Christmas if all goes well, me and a friend here from school are going to PNG for a couple weeks. So if you think of me, be praying yes a year in advance that, some-how finiances and all will be able to work out so that we can go !! =)

  Also, good news =) when i graduate and have my own place, come see me, alot of you i haven't seen in forever, or ever (lol), so you will have a place to stay, no excuse k?  ..

    Don't worry, I'm still alive & moving along.. I just haven't been very faithful to keeping updated.. I have come to the conclusion i am not going to be able to update near as much as i used to because of school and everything going on. However, i will attempt to come by at least once every- 2-4 weeks.. And if i get free time i promise to come and update.. even at times when i want to sleep like non-other, I will take time and write, when something exciting happens..

    And most definetly things have been pretty sweet the past few days as i headed home Friday after classes. I got there late that evening while everyone was up waiting for me.. (My sis & her husband + 3 kids are back from Paraguay for 2 weeks) So it was really really cool to see them after at least 1 1/2 - 2 yrs?? I'm not really sure but i know it's been a long time.. So i got to hang out with them & of course there kids alot, as well as my other sis & husband, bro and my parents.. Lots a fun, we hung around the house, talked lots, played age of empires a bit, (lol) i have gotten really bad after not playing for well since i left to come to live in wisconsin year 1/2 ago.. but that was alot of fun, to relax for a few days. i got back here Tuesday night, took a quick shower and went to see Melly whom i missed lots =), Lisa was there as well.. missed you too lisa ... We watched a  movie (Alot like Love).. after that i came up to my room and went to bed. And today began..

     ~and this is short, but i will be back soon~

                                    Lae & Michael petting the fish*

                        ( Me & Michael *my nephew*)

                              ( my new nephew Kaleb Daniel ) * after uncle dj*

-Well there's a few pics of my weekend =), i'll put more up lata!